The No Cry Sleep Solution
Test Mommy Leesa and Baby Kyra – Maryland USA
How old was your baby when you used The No-Cry Sleep Solution?
Five months old
How old is your baby now?
16 months
When you first met Elizabeth, what was your sleep situation?
Kyra was waking up every hour or two for feedings. As a working mother, I was literally a walking zombie. My husband tried to help out as much as he could, but since I was nursing, most of the responsibility was on my shoulders.
How is your baby sleeping now?
Absolutely, totally wonderfully. She goes to sleep when sleepy, sometimes when she doesn’t even think she’s tired! Kyra is now a napper — and before using “The Pantley Way,” we were lucky to get her to take 15-minute naps!
What “solutions” were most helpful to you?
Making an earlier bedtime with obvious routines (bath, book, bottle, bed); putting Kyra to sleep while she was awake; keeping our hand on Kyra for a few minutes after laying her down to make her transition to the crib easier.
What setbacks or problems did you need to overcome?
This past September, Kyra developed separation anxiety that paired with some horrendous ear infections. She no longer wanted to be in her crib and we had to lay down with her for a while until she settled down. That lasted three to four weeks, and then Kyra was back to her solidly sleeping self!
How did you get through that?
I turned to Elizabeth for advice. She was extremely patient, but made me realize that setbacks occur. Kyra was in pain from her ears, and on top of that, she was missing her mommy and daddy. Once her ears were healed, it became easier to deal with her separation anxiety. At Elizabeth’s suggestion, we dismantled her crib, put a mattress on the floor, and set out a pillow for us. Then we would lay near her and rub her belly or back until she calmed enough for us to leave the room. Eventually, we moved from next to her, to across the room in a chair, then standing at the door…all the while letting her know we were there and loved her. After a while, we were able to lay her down and leave immediately. No fussing, just the sweetest baby snoring.
Do you have any tips for parents just beginning The No-Cry Sleep Solution?
Be patient; this is NOT a quick fix. This is a real time investment, but it is so worth it! You can nurture your child and teach them how to sleep. Watch out for the pro-Cry-it-Out group: They will try and cast you as the bleeding-heart parent. Don’t listen to them, listen to your baby! In the long term, you will see how right you have been.
What one most important piece of advice would you give parents of a night-waking baby?
This is NOT going to last forever. Keep that in mind when setting out in the “sleep solutions program.” Your child WILL learn how to sleep.
Looking back, what idea from the book most affected the way you approached your baby’s sleep?
PUTTING THE BABY TO SLEEP WHILE SHE WAS AWAKE!
Did you ever try a cry-it-out method? What happened?
I tried the Ezzo approach. It nearly broke my heart and no doubt, Kyra’s, to have her scream and cry because she was supposed to do things MY way. To hear your child sceam for such a long period of time is the worst thing a parent goes through, and it doesn’t even work! Although Kyra may not remember those two times I tried, I will never forgive myself. But I did learn quite clearly that CIO is NOT for me.
What surprised you most about Elizabeth’s program?
That she acknowledged there would be setbacks. That she believes that children are human —surprise — and that they cannot be counted on to do something 100% all the time. If they become sick, or overtired, or are in a strange environment, their sleep patterns will shift. The trick is to remember to shift WITH the child. And to be patient!
What makes Elizabeth’s ideas so unique?
She doesn’t want your baby to cry — almost more than you. Elizabeth is a mommy who has been there. She has seen it all. It is an empathetic method. I think also the fact that it relies on both parents’ participation [when possible] makes it unique. Many rely solely on the mother. Elizabeth also makes sure to have you rely on friends and family: What a concept!
How did your husband or partner help throughout the process?
Royce was always helping, always anxious to try different aspects of the solutions to help Kyra. He also reassured me when I thought we would never have a sleeping child. Without Royce, there is every possibility that I would have never made it through and would still have a baby who couldn’t sleep through the night.
Did your pediatrician know what you were up to? What kind of feedback did you get from him/her?
One of the peds in our practice was very receptive and wanted updates to see how things were progressing. Others told us we could let Kyra CIO because she was manipulating us. 🙁 You can guess which ped. we make sure our appointments are with!
Did you have any friends or a support group during your sleep plan? How did they help?
Not really. We had so many people laugh at our idea that we just decided to do this on our own. It’s kind of funny: Several of the people who said that CIO worked for their children STILL have children who don’t sleep through the night. Yeah, I see how that worked!
How does it feel to sleep all night?
It is just wonderful! I’m enjoying every second of it because I know that once our new baby arrives, sleep is out the window for a while!
Excerpted with permission by McGraw-Hill Publishing from The No-Cry Sleep Solution (McGraw-Hill, 2002).
You are welcome to reprint the article on your website or in your newsletter, provided that you reprint the entire article, including the complete byline with author’s name and book title. Please also send a notice or copy to elizabeth@pantley.com. Thank you.